Moment

Well today I had a moment. One of those moments where you look back when you first became a Mom and realize you had NO idea what you were doing.  As I was going through old pictures of Ross today, I was SHOCKED to see how skinny he was at his 1 month mark...Let's go back and I will explain why this is such a moment for me.  When Ross was born I had decided that I was going to try breastfeeding and had sworn my whole life I was never going to do such a thing. But when Ross was born and they put him in my arms it was a different feeling. I felt it was my duty, and it was such a bonding experience while we were in the hospital both learning at the same time! I had no idea what the heck I was doing. Well you go home and your baby drinks around 2 oz. of breastmilk and let's just say that is all I was producing. I'm not your Mrs. Duggar (if you get my drift). No Elsie the cow here! But anyway I fed Ross 2 oz for the longest time every three hours on the dot.  Well we go to his first doc appointment and we are met with an over the top doctor who LOVES I mean literally has an obsession with every mom breastfeeding. So from that moment I was a little intimidated and knew he would be greatly disappointed if I quit breastfeeding, so I kept it up 2oz. every three hours. Ross had not lost much weight by his first check-up so I was really excited and knew he was getting enough to eat.  Well we go home and Ross keeps eating his 2 oz.  and acts full and does not fuss a lot.  Well skip several weeks and we go to our 1 month check-up and they weigh Ross and he has only gained a few ounces past his birth weight! It didn't hit me, and I didn't notice because I see him everyday and you know when you are around something you don't notice a change.  Well, the doc wants me to start breastfeeding 24/7 to get my milk production up and get Ross's weight up as well. Let's just say that I almost fell out of my chair when he told me that Ross was in the 25% range with his weight! So as many Mom's know you feel so helpless because you have done everything you know you are supposed to do and can't believe you were starving your child. From the docs office I was going to visit my Mom, Dad and Chrisanna in Lewisville.  Well we get there and I had a breakdown. I told my Mom and sister what the doc said and they said "Ave, you have to feed that baby more!" So we start feeding him 3oz and 4oz and he does so well. (Yes, I was feeding him 2 to 3 oz still by his 1 month check up...Don't slap me now but HONESTLY I HAD NO IDEA).  My sister gave me the best advice ever. She said, "Either breastfeed that baby 24/7 or go to formula!" So I started feeding him formula and he did great!! After I left my Mom called and said "Averie, your Dad was so upset when you left because he was so shocked at how small Ross was! He wants you to feed that baby formula and quit that breastfeeding business!" Got to love your Dad.....So from that moment on we went to formula. And let me say it was hard to switch to formula, because I felt like I was giving up and letting Ross down by not giving him the best nourishment. But that was due to all the crazy hormone episodes I was having after he was born.  Let me tell you that I was so scared to go back to that same doctor, because I knew he was going to give me a lecture and be upset with me because I was not breastfeeding anymore. Well, I thought "How crazy! I am scared to go to the doctor because I chose not to breastfeed anymore!" I found a new doctor and Ross has grown by leaps and bounds.  I was really embarrassed to post the picture of him but you can't get the full effect of my story until you see the picture.  So please don't think I was neglecting my child. I was just a young first time Mom who thought she was doing her best, but had NO IDEA!! So share this story with other new Moms who might need a little encouragment.  Next time I will know what to do!!

This picture was at 2 months. This is what set off my moment today! Glad I didn't see a picture at 1 month!

This is 6 months and  "HUGE" change!

Now you realize why I LOVE these chunky legs!! He will kill me one day when he sees this picture!

Lounging in our new chair !

Worn out from his long day!

Ross is 6 months old and such a sweet baby. People keep telling me that they hope my second child is as laid back as Ross! But I have a weird feeling that the second time will be totally different. The Lord wants to test my Faith!! :O)

Until next time,

averie